Excerpt #5: Don’t Ask Alice, Ask Her friends

“Hey when are you starting that Ask Alice column?”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Cause you’re good at that shit…so?”

Her friends varied from the most naïve to the greatest perverted minds the world has yet to meet, but they all agreed: giving advice was her thing. Following her own advice though? Not her thing.

“So…no, I am not qualified.”

“Oh so you think people just come to you and randomly tell you their problems because of that pretty face?”

“Hey! Let me have my delusions okay?”

“You know what I mean…you have that vibe,” Judy, one of her best friends, said nonchalantly while sipping her coffee at their favorite cafe.


“The ‘I care’ vibe.”


“Fine. Whatever.” Judy dropped the subject and she realized what this is about.

“How are things with Anthony?”

“Complicated.” Judy breathed out.

“I’m sorry.”

“Love sucks.”

“Jude…just let it go, screw it.”

“That’s some sound advice BUT just to clarify: you want me to let it go or you want me to screw it, it’s kind of hard to do both” Judy said impishly.

“Ugh Jude, need to know basis. And that I didn’t need to know.”


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