Regret a la carte 

Regret is a dish best served cold. It needs to sit for hours, for days, years even, for the rich taste of regret to seep into your pores. 
To create regret you need: 

-1 instance of lack of courage 

-Missed opportunities (quantity varies according to servings of regret)

-1 instance of lack of better judgement 

-reminder of missed opportunities (according to taste) 

Procedure 

1. Encounter an opportunity to express yourself in a manner beneficial to you. Ponder that for 1-5 minutes. 

2. Add an instance of lack of courage. 

3. Add an instance of lack of better judgement. 

4.Beat till the combination becomes thick and all encompassing. 

5. Let mixture sit till the opportunity has passed. 

6. Sprinkle in the sense of missed opportunities and their constant reminder. 

7. Let it sit for as long as possible. The longer the better.

Serve cold. Recommended serving. 100 regrets per one person. 

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