0

Want

It’s almost in my grasp,

The end goal,

Something that I wanted

And didn’t even know.

 

I clench my fist tighter

Hold onto the dream

That I want so bad

But the tighter I hold,

The quicker it starts to slip.

 

How is it that

what we want the most

is the thing that’s

the hardest to attain.

 

Does wanting something

Make it harder to get

Or does the challenge

Make you want it

In the first place?

 

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0

Blurred

My life has been a blur lately
With emotions and changes
Happening at the blink
Of an eye
Or two.

I see the past months
Like a fleeting bird
One I saw
But can’t seem to remember
All the details.

Is this what it feels like?
To grow up?
To have so many things happen
That you forget
What to remember?

I want to pause time
For a moment
Or two
Or three
And take in everything,
In slow motion.

But then, I fear
What if everything
Is too many things
To bear
For one single mind.

So I lay here
And breathe in and out
Once,
Twice,
Thrice,
And before I know it
Another day has gone.
A blur joining the other blurs
That my life has been cultivating lately.

0

Shall I?

Shall I write an ode
To the snow that glistens
Just beyond my window?

Shall I praise its beauty
Before it is marred
By human interference.

Shall I talk about its glow
The way it shimmers
As it falls lazily.

Shall I talk about its tenacity
Its veracity
Its power?

Shall I write?
Or shall I experience?
As it falls
All around me,
A blanket of cold
That wraps me
In its embrace.

0

Just Rant

I would love to see your good side

But now I know you have none.

All you are is a sad person

Inside your head.

 

And I feel bad saying all of this

That it has come to this

But even your saving grace

Can’t save your immoral face.

 

My friends told me not to trust you

My mind told me it was a waste

To try to see some goodness

In someone, something so rotten.

 

You complain that you’re so lonely

That everyone thinks you’re a jerk

That everyone thinks you suck,

That everyone blah, blah, blah .

 

I used to say that’s not true

There are people who care for you

That you are just really

Very paranoid and delusional.

 

But now I really wonder

What and who the hell

Was I talking about?

I don’t even really know you

And now, seeing your actions

I don’t think

That I even want to.

 

Have fun being who you are

Stuck in your warped up mind.

 

 

 

 

4

Letter Never Sent

I have some words to say

That you will never hear

Because these words will remain

In a letter I will never send.

 

With you everything

Always remains unclear,

Don’t know which version of you

I will get this time to tend.

 

And yet,as I think

Of these unseen words,

Worry perches on a high shelf.

 

And it stays with me

To make me wonder

Whether on my path to find you,

I am losing myself.