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Loneliness

Loneliness speaks

Greater than words.

And it lingers

Waiting to catch you

At your weakest.

Sometimes in the

Dead of night,

I hear the loneliness

Pounding in my ears

And no amount of

Sound can make it

Go away.

But just like a dark cloud

Loneliness is something,

That needs time

And a little bit of

Positivity and perspective

To make it pass.

Loneliness is an

Unwanted stop

Not the end

Of the journey.

 

 

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Thoughts on love

The other day I sat here

And really thought about

What love is.

Cause it’s happening to me

And I don’t know what to

Do about it.

Don’t get me wrong,

I can still sleep without you.

But then again why would I?

If I had the choice to be cocooned

In your arms.

I still have my appetite

But I find myself wishing

You were here to enjoy the meal

With me.

I can still function, but I rather

Thrive as it happens when

You’re around.

I always figured love made you

Somewhat unbalanced.

What with the sweaty palms,

Erratic heartbeats,

Irrational behavior,

I have been told to expect.

But with you I feel,

More grounded. More me.

And I love that me and you

Can also be a we.

If that’s love,

Then I’m all for it.

 

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In Your Arms

In your arms

There is quiet

From the buzzing

In my head.

From that part of me

Always moving.

Always trying to

Outrun, to forge ahead.

In your arms

There is a sigh

Of relief

Because it’s where

I rest my head

And breathe.

In your arms

There is a promise

Of comfort

Of sanctuary

Of acceptance.

And whenever

I am afraid

Of losing it all

I find myself

In your arms.

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Loving Fire

Love for me is not beautiful

It’s scary, paranoid, and insecure.

It’s vulnerable, it’s all encompassing.

Love is like fire.

All the warmth until you get too close

And then it burns.

Loving someone is painful,

It makes me feel imbalanced,

Because there’s a piece of me

That’s missing.

Because I gave it away.

Love for me is you,

And I still want it,

For all its shortcomings,

Because when I am with you,

I feel like I am invincible,

And even if it’s for a moment

It’s worth it.

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Broken

They tell you don’t let the world break you

It’s not the world, you make you

But they let you judge and then break you

How can the broken you, be the real you?

They tell you make life your main bitch

Not a scratch that you just gotta itch

But when life lands you in a ditch

Who’s gonna come and make you pitch?

They tell you love is a beautiful thing

Makes the sun shine and bird sing,

But when there’s no promise ring,

They leave you, an unwanted thing.

They tell you a lot of lies,

The world is just and nothing dies,

We all live life for it ties,

Its wondrous laughs and woeful cries.

They tell you but I don’t wanna hear

I wanna hide and drown in my fear

Not listen with a hopeful ear,

That life is meant for something dear.

Nightmares is where I will go,

In nightmares at least I know,

That the world will break you,

You’re not the one that makes you,

You can judge and they will break you,

Cause the broken you is the real you.

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Senseless

I always wait till the last minute

Too blurt out how I feel

Wait till it’s too late

And I have, in my mind,

Irrevocably ruined everything.

Have built things so far

That they are ready to collapse

Into a heap of mess

That can’t be untangled.

For complicated creatures

We take simple things for granted

Weave thoughts of our own I

Till they have a life of their own

And we are caught up in it.

In us,

In problems we have made .

Even now when I know I am to blame

I refer to our collective

As if my faults are the faults of all I know.

Because the solidarity in mistakes

Is just as lonely

As the product of the situation

Which I have created

By not opening my mouth in the first place .

And now opening it all over the place

Spewing once sensical thoughts

As nonsense.

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Beginnings

I kind of hate

How much I like you,

How one

Simple word from you

Makes me smile

And feel a little brighter .

 

I kind of fear

How much I think

Of you

Counting the days

Till I am back

In your arms.

 

Sometimes I feel like

I need to hold back,

Not let you see

How you effect me.

How you make me

Feel all gooey .

Cause it’s way too

Early for this shit.

We are way too new

At this shit.

 

But then it feels like

We only just met

And it feels like

I have known you for years.

And then I feel like

I like these feelings.

 

I don’t know if I am

Playing the coward,

Acting the fool,

Channelling the brave,

Or being the explorer,

But one thing I know,

That this thing,

This thing that we have

May be the best thing ever

Or the thing that makes me

Feel like the worst is yet to come.