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Loving Fire

Love for me is not beautiful

It’s scary, paranoid, and insecure.

It’s vulnerable, it’s all encompassing.

Love is like fire.

All the warmth until you get too close

And then it burns.

Loving someone is painful,

It makes me feel imbalanced,

Because there’s a piece of me

That’s missing.

Because I gave it away.

Love for me is you,

And I still want it,

For all its shortcomings,

Because when I am with you,

I feel like I am invincible,

And even if it’s for a moment

It’s worth it.

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Beginnings

I kind of hate

How much I like you,

How one

Simple word from you

Makes me smile

And feel a little brighter .

 

I kind of fear

How much I think

Of you

Counting the days

Till I am back

In your arms.

 

Sometimes I feel like

I need to hold back,

Not let you see

How you effect me.

How you make me

Feel all gooey .

Cause it’s way too

Early for this shit.

We are way too new

At this shit.

 

But then it feels like

We only just met

And it feels like

I have known you for years.

And then I feel like

I like these feelings.

 

I don’t know if I am

Playing the coward,

Acting the fool,

Channelling the brave,

Or being the explorer,

But one thing I know,

That this thing,

This thing that we have

May be the best thing ever

Or the thing that makes me

Feel like the worst is yet to come.

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Light Me a Flame

Today I found the lighter

That stupid little thing

You loved so much

But left behind

Like most things in your life.

I was trying to light a candle

And I needed a spark…

A lighter to light a candle

Seems logical.

But I forgot

That your lighter

Is much like you.

Illogical.

But I digress.

Today I flipped

The lighter open

And it fizzled,

Like our relationship.

So now I am sitting

In the dark

Holding a candle, unlit

Your lighter

It screwed me over .

Like its owner

How ironic .

 

 

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Kindness

Sometimes people just take

Advantage of kindness,

Thinking it’s weakness

Thinking that the fact I care

About your comfort is a

Weakness you must exploit.

I have no problem

You using me as a sounding board

Feeling better just

Because I gave you an inch

To breathe

When the ones closest to you

Were making you suffocate.

Don’t think for a moment

My kindness is a weakness

That I haven’t been calloused

By those who took advantage

Before you.

It took great pains for me to learn

To give humanity what it needs

Not what it wants,

So today’s kindness

Can be tomorrow’s ultimatum.

Either you or your self torture

Pick one .

Because one will get you my kindness

The other some precious time

Until I stop caring

Because you stopped caring

About yourself and

Taking advantage

Of me.

Wasting my time

For you

On someone else.

 

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Curtain call

I kissed you

And felt nothing.

Talked to you

And felt nothing.

Held hands with you

And felt nothing.

When did you

Become my nothing?

 

I told you

Maybe someday.

You told me

Maybe one day.

But for one day

All I felt is

Nothing.

 

You call me, immature now

I tell you, you’re mature how?

By telling me, I was nothing

And acting like, I was something?

Boy, stay out of my head .

 

Took a while, for me to realize,

Your arms are not, my paradise.

You were an act, never in the now

So baby, please take a bow,

As the curtain drops .

 

What I knew of you

Was a dream you.

All the stranger

Is the real you.

And now I touch you

And it’s nothing

I talk to you

And it’s nothing.

I see you,

You are nothing.

You were an act, never in the now

So baby, please take a bow .

As the curtain drops.