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Incapicitated

I have this fear

That one day I will be all alone

And the people I love the most

Will have moved on with their lives.

I have this fear that someday

I will look in the mirror

And see everything I loved about myself

Gone with age, replaced with hopelessness

And bitterness with a life lived

Unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I have a fear that my legacy will be

Nothing but a whisper

A longing of being part of something bigger

But never having an inkling

On how achieve it.

I have a fear that my fears

Are the reason I am in this mindset,

But I am stuck because

I don’t know how to not be afraid .

 

 

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Rather not

Sometimes I catch a glimpse

Of who I have become

And I hate it.

I hate this part

Where between right and wrong

I stay paralyzed,

Unable to make a choice

Because fear and insecurity plague me.

I don’t want to feel. 

I really don’t want to feel.

Feeling makes me do things

I rather not do,

Be things I rather not be.

And I rather not be

If the person I glimpse in the mirror

Is who I am meant to be.